Go the Fuck to Sleep - A dramatic reading by Qrow Branwen (impression by @guiltyeleven)
~The perfect bedtime story for the perfect kind of parent~
Disclaimer: Made purely for entertainment purposes only. Some words have been changed in order to fit the RWBY theme.
Go the Fuck to Sleep is by Adam Mansbach
RWBY and all related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth
No copyright infringement whatsoever is intended. This book is amazing and we had a lot of fun making this little recording. Enjoy! <3

Be the best flower you can be~!
I live under a sky without stars.
The night feels unhinged, dislocated. The air is too warm for comfort. Mosquitoes abound, but I’m not afraid of being bitten or getting sick because they would sooner die from my caffeinated blood and nicotine lungs.
I try to make sense of the past few days, not realizing that it is already Thursday. I’ve been living inside a story for almost two weeks, hibernating again within the cave of my own imaginings. A good friend asks me where I’ve been, why she hasn’t heard from me. I could only offer the flimsiest of excuses knowing that the truth would make no sense.
G fishes me out from time to time, but he is more courageous than he knows: he sits with me inside the cave, and tries to grasp the illusion that has consumed the hours. He sends me recordings for inspiration, for good luck. He sends them to remind me that I’m not alone in my madness.
The story is coming along but I’ve hit a snag, and it is absolutely frustrating. Perhaps I’m merely delaying the inevitable. Still though, I can’t wait to wake up when it’s done.